In the Beginning
by MikiNare
Summary: **SPOILER IN SUMMARY** Picks up immediately after Sarah's death. Story will focus on Tommy and Joel's relationship and what happened between the beginning of the infection and when Joel met Ellie. Rating for swearing and gore.
1. Chapter 1

"Please God, no. No. No." The thirty year old gripped his now silent daughter in his arms, tears flowing freely down his face. As the tears fell from his chin, they splashed onto the pale cheeks below him, merging with the girl's own sorrow. Those would be the last tears she shed, the last time she clung with any life to her father. She was gone. She was dead. Not from an attack from the infected that they had narrowly escaped from. Not from the explosion of the petrol station, where the firelight still burned in their retinas – no, she died from the gunshot of a soldier. A man who had sworn to protect the innocent. And Sarah had been so innocent.

"NOOOOO!" Joel cried out and dropped his head to his daughter's neck, shaking her. 'Wake up, baby girl. Wake up. Come on!'

"Joel." Tommy whispered and placed a hand on his older brother's shoulder.

"Sarah! Sarah!" Joel shook her again, violently. The young girl's short blonde hair bounced around her head; just like it used to when she would go on that damn trampoline they had in their back garden. "Sarah, please!"

"Joel! She's gone." Tommy's voice chocked on those words, but he swallowed down his grief. They weren't safe here. He could already hear noises in the dark, noises that shook him to his core. The infected were drawing closer.

Joel's anguish punched its way through his body and his sobs were heart-breaking and filled with so much loss and sadness. Tommy wiped his own tears away with the back of his hands and tried to stop them from shaking. The revolver would not be safe in shaking hands. With his brother lost to his grief, Tommy knew he would need to try and take charge in order for them to reach safety. They had heard on the car radio that the best action to take was to get out of the city so that's what he planned to do.

He crawled to the dead soldier and searched his body, but froze with fear, when he heard a scream nearby. The fear turned to panic and he ripped the gun so forcefully from the body, he fell hard onto his back, the air leaving his lungs. At that moment a crazed man jumped at him from a bush with a scream like a dying animal. His clothes were covered in blood and dirt and ripped along his chest. His head was covered in bald patches, like he had pulled out his own hair. He was on top of Tommy before he could draw breath, clawing at him and growling insanely.

"Get off! Get off! Joel!"

The struggle lasted mere seconds before Tommy's finger found the trigger of the gun and he squeezed. There was an impossibly loud bang, which rang so loudly in his ears, that his vision went black for a moment. With a dying groan the weight of his attacker dropped on him, like a rock being dropped in a puddle. The man above him stank of death and disease and Tommy gagged. With a grimace he pushed with all his strength until the man toppled off of him and rolled slightly down the slope. Tommy stood on trembling legs and peered down through the darkness and saw his attacker with a gaping hole in his stomach, blood pooling around him and parts of his intestines hanging out his body.

"Oh god." Tommy doubled over and threw up. Tears formed in his eyes again. This was a nightmare. It had to be. He had seen Sarah die in front of him only minutes ago. Before he had met up with his brother at his house he had seen friends and neighbours ripping each other to pieces. He had shot so many people in the last hour. What was happening? He collapsed to his knees, hands falling to the ground to catch him as he dry heaved. There was nothing in his stomach, but bile forced its way up his throat and burned him from the inside. He spat and sat back, panting for clean air.

After a few seconds he turned back around to Joel who was still clutching Sarah and staring into the darkness. It hadn't even registered Tommy had been attacked.

"Joel. Get up. We have to move from here." Tommy gathered the guns from the ground and a canteen of water from the soldier and forced himself back to his feet once more. Slinging one of the guns over his shoulder and pocketing the other one between his belt and back he gripped his brother under his arms and heaved him to his feet. Joel stood, but still carried his daughter.

"Move! Move now! Follow me!" Tommy yelled and shoved at Joel. He stumbled at first, but found his footing and followed his brother up towards the highway. The lights from cars and the road guided him through the darkness. The occasional shots fired from Tommy, to keep the infected away from them, kept him from slipping away into a dream-like state. He was in shock, his thoughts numb and uncomprehending. He could only feel the weight in his arms and could process one instruction – follow Tommy.

After struggling with the hill, both men reached the highway, breathing heavily. It wasn't until Joel could catch his breath easily again, did he notice the eerie silence. The highway was packed with cars, but there were no one in them. No people blasting their horns, yelling profanities to hurry up, there was nothing.

"Joel, what's going on?"

Joel stared at the scene, but didn't answer his brother.

"We should get out of the city, right? Follow the road? Joel? What should we do?"

Joel hugged Sarah to his chest. She was getting cold in the night air. Or at least, that's what he told himself.

"We head out of the city." Joel whispered eventually, staring at the cars in confusion.

"Okay, man. Okay. We'll head out of the city. It's going to be all right. We'll just get out of the city and find some help. This is just some crazy dream. Everything will be fine, you'll see."

"Where are all the people?" Joel interrupted.

Tommy stopped his rambling and looked around, hands on his hips.

"I….I don't know. What do you think happened?" The man turned a full circle taking in the scene before him.

"They left in a hurry."

Tommy took a closer look and realised his brother was right. Car doors had been left open. Bags left inside cars. Baby seats chucked onto the road. The highway was chaos. As Tommy walked further up the road, to his horror, he discovered a body that had been trampled to death.

"It looks like the old man couldn't keep up and they just…..left him." Tommy grabbed a blanket from the inside of a car and placed it over the body. "Poor old son of a bitch."

"What was everyone running away from?" The younger man asked after a moment, standing up from the body. He noticed a packet of cigarettes through the window of the car beside him.

"I'm sure they wouldn't mind….." He muttered to himself, indicating the previous owner of the cigarettes, as he reached for them. He pulled one from the box and placed it between his lips, before patting his shirt pocket. "I must have dropped my lighter when…"

"Shh."

"Huh?"

"Listen."

Tommy fell silent and listened. The breeze blew his hair back from his forehead and carried on the wind was an ominous clicking sound.

"What the hell is that?"

"We need to go."

Tommy dropped the cigarette and broke into a light jog at his brother's words. Joel soon caught up, but he was breathing heavily within seconds, what with the emotional drain that the night's events had brought and with the extra burden of his daughter's weight, there was no way Joel was outrunning anything when he clutched the dead body of Sarah. Tommy acknowledged this and dared to point it out.

"Joel, maybe we should….."

"Stop."

"But Joel, what if….?"

"I said stop." Joel growled. Tommy fell silent and stayed that way until they could see barriers about half a mile ahead.

"Look Joel. A checkpoint." Tommy pointed up ahead, while slowing his pace for his brother to catch up. "If we can make it..." He lost his train of thought as a shiver ran up his spine. Someone, or rather, something was watching them. The wind picked up and tugged at the men's t-shirts, almost as if even the elements were pulling them to safety, urging them to keep going. Both men halted and turned around to face the path they had just run along. Something wasn't right.

"What the hell is out there?" Tommy whispered, removing the gun from around his shoulder and clutching it tightly in two hands.

There was a beat of silence and then, like a hunting pod of Orca rising up from the waves, powerful and deadly, an unimaginable number of infected surged onto the highway from the side of the road.

"Their…Their faces. What the fuck?" Tommy was rigid with fear and overwhelmed by what he was seeing. The group was mainly composed of people crazed with the virus, but behind them, in a wild array of dancing appendages and animalistic screams rose the next stage of infected. Their faces were no longer recognisable as human beings. Their bodies still functioned in a bipedal way, but from their chests upwards erupted fungal like armour, covering typical features including eyes, noses, ears etc. The only prominent human feature was their mouths which were open and screaming, with spittle spewing in every direction.

"RUN! RUN!"

Joel and Tommy began to sprint along the road, dodging around cars and leaping over discarded bags and food items. Joel was sweating and his side was cramping.

"I'll never make it."

"We have to make it. They'll rip us to pieces." Tommy yelled, reaching behind him while running, and firing blindly. There was a screech from an infected woman, who tumbled and fell, having been shot in the chest. The group engulfed her, but kept coming like a tsunami of terror. The gun clicked uselessly when he turned to fire once more - the magazine was empty.

"Shit." Tommy threw the soldier's gun away and pulled out his own. "I only have a couple of bullets left."

Both men were running for their lives along the road when broken torchlight and voices could be seen and heard behind the soldier-made gates. The toll on the highway had been used to fence off the town. The openings were barricaded with man-made gates and guarded by what looked like the army.

"Help us! Help us please!" Tommy screamed to the men behind the tolls. The army, after acknowledging the threat of the infection, had set up the barriers to create quarantine zones. Tommy recognised that they could be shot on sight just like Sarah, but it was either death by gunshot or being torn limb from limb. He waved his arms over his head.

"Please, help us!"

"Sir, we have two non-infected running towards the gate. Make that three. I repeat, three non-infected." The soldier listened to the response over his radio as Tommy reached the barrier.

"Let us in! They're coming. Open the fucking gate!"

"Stand back!"

"Stand back?! There are dozens of them and they are seconds behind us! Open the _fucking_ gate!"

The soldiers gasped and swore under their breath as the group of infected rounded the corner.

"Jesus, please! Don't leave us out here!"

"Open the gates! Let them in!" One of the soldiers shouted.

"But sir, we've not been given….."

"Just do it!"

Two of the soldiers grabbed the gates and began to push them open.

"Hurry!" Tommy urged, firing the last of his bullets towards the group.

The gates opened inches at a time and Tommy frantically turned from the infected to the soldiers, the panic making his whole body tremble. There wasn't going to be enough time. Joel stood silently. He couldn't bring himself to look at Sarah, but at the same time he couldn't look away. His heart was breaking; shredded into a million pieces. His beautiful daughter….He couldn't even comprehend his own reality. She couldn't be dead. This was a horrible dream. He had fallen asleep on the couch with her, curled in a ball beside him. They did that more often than he could remember with the crazy hours he worked. He used to tease her by calling her a cat, as she would tuck her hands and knees underneath her body, seeking the warmth. She would kick his side and laugh. That was real. Not this. _This wasn't real_. She wasn't dead in his arms. She couldn't be…

Suddenly Tommy let out a scream, which jolted Joel from his thoughts. From out of nowhere two infected had grabbed his little brother and pulled him off the side of the road. Joel stood rooted to the spot. The only way he could help Tommy was if he let go of Sarah.

And still the group grew nearer. He could see the details of their faces, they were so close.

"Joel! Help me!" He broke off into a cry. One of the infected was a large man and he pounded on the side of Tommy's head, snarling and twitching. The cry of his younger brother finally drew Joel out of his head and into the moment. His baby brother would die if he didn't intervene. They would kill him in the most savage of ways. He would be another victim to add to the landfill of bodies.

"Tommy! Tommy!" Joel placed Sarah gently on the ground and ran towards his brother. He grabbed one of the attackers around the neck and threw him to the side. The soldiers had opened the gates enough for someone to squeeze through.

"Move it! Now! They're here!" The soldier hollered.

Joel looked up. They were so close. Twenty yards away. He grabbed Tommy's ankle and pulled him along the ground towards him, at the same time as bodily shoving the other attacker away. Tommy clambered to his feet. A soldier had slid through the gate and screamed at them to hurry. He shoved Tommy through as Joel made to grab Sarah. The group of infected were upon them. The soldier grabbed Joel around his arms and pulled him through the gate. He felt the fingertips of the infected graze his body. He didn't care.

"SARAH! SARAH!"

As the group reached her body Joel was pulled to the other side. The soldiers opened fire on those attempting to get through until they could safely close the gates again.

"NOOO! You bastards! BASTARDS! My daughter! SARAH!" Joel thrashed in one of the soldier's hold and cursed them all. He couldn't make out much of anything as the adrenaline that had powered him along the highway was depleting and he was fading fast. Black spots covered his vision. The man was squeezing around his neck to keep a hold of him and effectively cutting off his air supply.

The infected pounded at the gates. Joel kicked back and caught the soldier in the knee.

"She's still out there!" He tried to punch behind him, but missed his target. With a primal scream that cut off dramatically when the soldier struck the side of Joel's neck, he collapsed; his body at physical and mental breaking point. He fell to his side when the soldier stepped away from him and succumbed to oblivion. Just as the darkness washed over him he heard the soldiers ask Tommy if he was infected. He had clearly been acting like he was. He hadn't lost his mind though, but he had lost his heart. His soul. His baby girl.

"No." Tommy sobbed, sitting on the wet grass, shaking his head vehemently. "He lost her. She's gone. Sarah's gone." He dropped his head in his arms, which were wrapped around his knees, and cried loudly.

Then there was nothing.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

**Two Weeks Later**

Tommy woke with a start, his upper body thrusting off the bed, as he inhaled loudly. Another nightmare. He wiped his forehead with a quivering hand. Cold sweat covered his body. He had dreamt of Sarah.

She was playing football in the park with her team, like she had most Saturday afternoons before the attack. Tommy and Joel would work early morning and then stroll down to the football pitches and watch her, usually stopping for a hotdog on the way. Sarah had scored, and after spotting her father and uncle, had jogged across the park to greet them. Tommy waved happily as Joel whistled with two fingers in celebration. As she touched the white line, marking the edge of the playing field, she froze suddenly, the happy smile leaving her face. Her body then jolted, head snapping back; like she had been tugged on a string. From beneath Sarah's smooth skin erupted the fungal plates of the later stages of the infected. Tommy backed away in horror as his niece's beautiful face contorted and twisted into a monster. The mouth, which was creepily similar, smiled through the mutilation.

"I scored! Did you see?"

Tommy cried out as the infected stalked towards them and jumped, wrapping its arms around their necks.

"Why aren't you happy? I scored!" The monster spoke just like Sarah.

"Daddy, aren't you happy? Uncle Tommy, didn't you see me score?"

He tried to push her away, but she gripped his neck tightly. The fungus was touching his face. It was cold and rough against his cheek.

"Get off!" He cried out, tugging at her violently. "Joel, this isn't Sarah!"

"What's wrong Tommy? Aren't you happy?" Joel asked quietly as he turned to face his brother, still in his daughter's hold. He smiled like nothing was wrong; like Sarah hadn't transformed before them; like her face hadn't morphed into something purged from the depths of hell. Slowly his smile grew wider and wider, eventually splitting his face in two and from the wound grew out the infection.

Tommy screamed as they laughed, asking over and over why he wasn't happy. Thunder roared from above. The park became deserted. No laughing children playing football, no parents cheering them on, no dogs chasing frisbees. As the park became silent so too did Joel and Sarah. Their cackling subsided. It was quiet. So quiet. Sarah hiccupped. Then Joel. Then Sarah again.

Only they weren't hiccupping. They were clicking.

Tommy managed to get out of their embrace and staggered a few steps backwards. He watched as they clicked to each other a few times, their heads twitching.

"What are you…..?"

At the sound of Tommy's voice, they immediately stopped communicating and began to shriek. They jumped at him, teeth flashing, white and dangerous. He could feel Sarah's small hands clawing at his arm, but it was when Joel lunged at his neck to tear out his jugular, did he jerk awake with a gasp.

The young man patted his neck frantically and held a hand over his pounding heart as he watched his brother sleep soundly in the bed beside him. Joel was always sleeping nowadays.

They had been given the luxury of only having to share a tent with each other. Usually there were four or five people cramped into one. They had made it to the other side of the tolls on that horrific night when Sarah had died. It took four days, but the military had established a base and set up temporary sleeping areas. They were housed in section C, one of the smaller camps. There they were protected day and night by armed guards and were given food rations. Food, toiletries, batteries and weapons were under tight control. One of the soldiers had managed to capture and kill a deer, so instead of tins of beans or soup, they had eaten meat the night before. It was a rare treat if they had protein through their diet. Tommy's stomach rumbled at the thought. He would have given his right arm for bacon, eggs and hash browns right about now. He had already lost weight and his jeans were sitting low on his hips.

"Joel, wake up. We're on scout duty_. Joel_." Tommy swung his legs off the bed and rubbed his face. He slept with his shoes on, terrified there would be an attack during the night. There had been an attempt three nights previous. One of the infected had managed to climb the gates and attack a soldier before it was brought down. The soldier had been bitten. Tommy had watched from their tent as four men dragged him off into the woods. He had never been seen again.

Joel shifted in his sleep. The younger man sighed and reached over to shake his brother's shoulder.

"I said wake _up_." He shook him harshly, losing patience.

"Sarah!" Joel woke the same way as Tommy. His whole body shuddered from the effects of a bad dream. Tommy gave him a few seconds to pull himself together.

"We're on scout duty. We need to get going."

"You go on ahead."

"Joel, if you don't go, you won't get rations tonight." Tommy moaned. Joel never stuck to the work schedule and they were always losing out on extra potatoes or coffee.

"Go, Tommy."

"You haven't eaten for two days and even then you never finished your meal. You can't keep going on like this. Everyone has to pull their weight and work for their rations. We might get toothpaste if we both put in a shift."

"Boy, you keep going on at me like that and I am going to knock you on your ass."

Tommy rolled his eyes, but shrugged on his shirt, quietly. Joel sighed and lay back down on the bed; arms folded over his chest and closed his eyes once again.

"See you tonight. I am going to catch me some rabbit."

"Good luck with that. You couldn't catch a cold as I remember."

"If I did catch one would you eat it?"

Joel cracked open an eye and stared hard at his brother. Tommy raised his hands in mock surrender and turned to exit their tent.

As Tommy walked out of the area cordoned off for sleeping, he shielded his eyes from the sun. Normally a sunny, warm day like this would mean he could work on his bike outside or go hiking with his family – basically things that used to make him happy. But with no breeze or heavy rain to deafen the sounds of the hunting group traipsing through the wood, they would be lucky to catch anything.

"I hear you, but I can't do anything about it." Tommy mumbled to his empty, rumbling stomach. Unfortunately they were sandwiched between two infected towns. Towns that were full of supermarkets. The thought of all the food going to waste as the people starved was enough to make some people reckless. A small group had ventured back into Joel and Tommy's town to raid shops and homes for food and other items needed to survive. Unfortunately none of them had returned, so no one knew if they had been successful or not.

The soldiers kept telling them they needed more time to come up with a plan and they were still waiting on new orders. They had limited ammunition and no one knew what towns, cities or states were infected. Was it just contained in the USA? There was talk of some people sailing to South America, or a lucky few had made it to Europe. Were they safe?

"But I'm hungry!" Tommy walked past one of the many white tents in the area and heard a child sobbing inside.

"Jesus…." Tommy whispered and hurried to catch up with the group scheduled for scouting duties. He couldn't stand listening to the children crying.

He met up with a group standing just outside the border of section C. There were seven men and women including him and two soldiers. As he approached, a young woman with blonde hair smiled weakly at him.

"Tommy?" The soldier said, holding a clipboard.

"That's me."

"And your brother?"

"Uh, he's not feeling too well. He'll make up the shift tomorrow." Tommy scratched his head embarrassed as the group stared at him.

"Okay. Let's go, kids." The two soldiers took point and marched towards the woods. Tommy fell into line. Today was going to be a long day. It would be an even longer night if they didn't find something.

Two hours into the trip and people were beginning to get anxious. They hadn't come across anything that would serve as food and some people were sitting on a fallen log, wiping the sweat from their foreheads.

"Over here!" The blonde girl had stumbled across bushes covered with berries. Some people looked up at her voice, but known walked over.

"We can eat these, right?" The girl asked, pointing to the fruit.

Tommy looked around not realising she was talking to him. She raised her eyebrows in question.

"Uh….."

The girl shook her head and laughed.

"Some scouting party we have here." She pointed over at the group of people resting. "Dan was a janitor at my cousin's school. Rachel groomed my dog. I worked in an office before….." She trailed off, wrapping her arms around her and looked to the ground sadly. Tommy shifted his feet awkwardly, not sure what to say. His gaze found the fruit in front of him.

"I guess there is only one way to find out about the berries." He grinned at her, when she looked back up to his face and pulled one off the hedge and popped it into his mouth. He swallowed and counted to ten. The girl's eyes were as wide as saucers.

"Well, I ain't foaming at the mouth, so that must be a good thing!"

"That was so stupid!" The girl reprimanded. "Aren't there like really poisonous ones?"

"That _was_ stupid." Tommy whirled around and came face to face with a soldier. "Lucky for you, son, those ones are harmless." The soldier shoved a basket into his chest.

"Make yourself useful and fill it."

"Sir, yes sir." Tommy muttered and mock saluted as the man retreated back to the group that had begun to collect firewood.

The girl giggled.

"You know there were easier ways to impress me."

"Impress you? I was just starving." Tommy joked.

She stuck her tongue out and began tearing off the berries and putting them in the basket.

"I'm Tommy."

"I know. You were late and the soldier was threatening to let you starve."

"What can I say? My bed was too comfy."

Both of them knew the cots used for sleeping were either brick hard or broken. She chuckled and held out her hand.

"Amelia."

"That's a pretty name." Tommy complimented as he shook her hand. It was cool and soft and Tommy suddenly didn't want to let go. He did though and raked a hand through his hair nervously.

"Flattery won't get you any more berries."

Tommy smirked and shoved a small handful into his mouth. The girl playfully punched his shoulder.

"Hoy! Those are for the rest of the group!"

"It didn't seem to bother you when I was being a guinea pig."

"Well, now I know I might get a little desert after dinner, I may have to fight you for them."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, really!"

"You going to set your poodle on me?"

The girl looked at him in confusion.

"I just assumed if you had a personal groomer for your mutt, it would be one of those fancy dogs."

Amelia laughed again and shook her head,

"You not what assuming does?"

"Yeah, yeah!"

"She was a German shepherd actually. Lady."

"Was?"

"She made it to the other side of the tolls, but the day after she turned on me. I think it was the stress. She attacked me and then ran away. I signed up for the scouting party to see if I could try look for her."

"Sorry."

"It's okay. She's a tough cookie. If anyone can survive in the wild, it would be Lady."

"I'm sure she is chasing squirrels and rolling around in muddy puddles as we speak."

The girl nodded and wiped a stray tear away from her face.

"You're right."

She cleared her throat, tucked her hair behind her ears and started picking at the berries once again.

"I had a dog too. I called him Charlie. He was a spaniel."

"Oh! I love spaniels!"

"Ow! You two lovebirds. More working, less chatting. Five minutes and we're moving out!" The soldier indicated with his thumb they were moving into deeper woodland.

Tommy flipped the guy off, but filled the basket anyway. It took a couple of minutes to clear the fruit, which glistened temptingly in colours of red and purple.

Amelia plucked the basket from his grasp and began to follow the rest of the group.

"Thanks, Tommy." She said over her shoulder.

"What for?"

She twirled around to face him, basket swinging in front. "For making me laugh and listening to my problems and helping me forget this god awful place for a moment."

"Sure thing." He placed a hand on her shoulder. "We all look out for each other now."

* * *

"Hey bro! You in here?" Tommy stuck his head in the tent. It was nearly five o'clock before Tommy returned back to camp. Joel was there, but apparently hadn't heard him. He was still in bed. Eyes open, but unseeing.

Tommy approached slowly.

"Joel?" He whispered tentatively.

"Is this real?"

Tommy licked his lips and sat on the bed that his brother lay on. They went through this nearly every day. Joel was struggling with the loss of Sarah, struggling to come to grips with reality.

"Yeah, Joel. This is real."

"I can't keep doing this. It hurts so much."

"I know. You just need to take things a day at a time. We survived getting out of town. We can survive here."

"I don't want to survive Tommy! I want her back!" Joel growled.

"She ain't coming back, Joel. She ain't ever coming back."

Joel closed his eyes. The silence was heavy in the tent.

"We caught some pigeons. The women are going to try make them into pies. That would be good, right?" Tommy asked quietly, after a time.

Joel didn't say anything. He just kept his eyes closed and wished Tommy would leave him alone.

"You'll come to dinner tonight, won't you?"

"Leave it alone."

Suddenly Tommy grasped both his shoulders and was leaning over him, his face intense and close to his.

"Please Joel. You're gonna' die at this rate! You look pale and you've barely left this bed. If something happens and we need to leave, you're not going to make it. You'll be as weak as a kitten."

Joel batted at his arms and shoved Tommy off of him.

"I've already told you to drop it."

Tommy stood up, face red with frustration.

"Why are you doing this?" He demanded.

Joel's temper snapped and he hauled himself up from the bed, grabbing at Tommy's shirt. He pulled him close.

"I don't _want _to keep living, you hear me?! I don't care whether I waste away here or not. I died that day that bastard shot my…." He broke off with a sob, dropped his hands and sat back on the bed. He was trembling with adrenaline.

Tommy bit down on the emotion that was threatening to bubble to the surface. He watched his older brother for a moment and then rubbed his hands down his face. He walked to the entrance of the tent, but stopped before going outside.

"You and Sarah are the only family I have. If you go….." He turned to Joel, tears brimming in his eyes. "I'll be alone." He stalked out, before that thought overwhelmed him.

Joel's eyes were also filled with tears and he dropped his head in one hand with a sigh when his younger brother left. It was just too much. Everything was too much.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

During dinner that night Tommy sat at a table alone nursing his piece of pigeon pie. It smelled wonderful to his empty stomach, but the emotional carnage messing around in his head, was making it hard to concentrate on the act of eating.

"Penny for your thoughts." Amelia nudged his shoulder with her hip, smiling softly and sat beside him. Tommy tried to return a smile, but it came out more like a grimace.

"Uh…..Just wondering what's going to happen to us all, I guess." Tommy stabbed the pie a few times with his plastic fork and then, with a sigh, dropped the cutlery on to the plate.

"Are you not going to eat that?" Amelia asked in surprise, subconsciously licking her lips.

"Go ahead. Help yourself." He pushed the plate towards her.

"Oh no, I couldn't."

"It's just going to go to waste and you're hungry. Eat up while it's still warm. Go on."

"No. I can't take food from you. We're _all_ hungry."

"Look, I ain't going to be eating it. I want you to have it."

They stared at each other for a moment and then Tommy, blushing, broke eye contact and took Amelia's hand, shoving the fork into it.

"Thank you." She said sincerely and began to tuck into the food eagerly.

Tommy zoned out as she spoke to him about what had happened at camp that day when they were out foraging for food. The soldiers had managed to acquire some shampoo, pain killers and more torches. Amelia was excited that she might get to actually wash her hair with real product. She tugged at it, embarrassed. It was greasy and her highlights were growing out.

"You know any good hairdressers around here?" She giggled, but stopped when the young man beside her failed to react.

"Tommy?"

"Huh?" He blinked, realising Amelia had asked him a question.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, sorry. You were saying?"

"Am I bothering you?" She shook her head, mortified at her behaviour. "God, I just walked over here unannounced and sat chewing your ear off. I even ate all your pie! I'm so sorry. Goodness, I am so rude." Amelia flushed and made to stand.

Tommy grabbed her arm.

"No, don't go. I...I was just thinking about my brother."

"Is he okay?"

Tommy let go of her arm and shook his head sadly.

"He lost his daughter. Sarah. My niece. She was shot."

Sarah covered her mouth with her hand in horror.

"Oh god. I am so sorry."

"He's not dealing. He just sleeps all the time and he isn't eating. I just don't know what to do. He has always been there for me and I can't seem to do the same for him. Everything I say is the wrong thing. Shit, if I can't even get him to eat what use am I?!" He ground his short, bitten finger nails into his palm.

Amelia squeezed his shoulder in comfort, but what could she say? Everyone in the camp had lost someone. They sat in silence, dwelling in their own grief and problems.

He wanted his friends back. What had happened to them? Had they survived? His house? Had it been burned to the ground like so many others? Had it been raided? He wanted his family whole again.

"I just want to go home." Tommy said finally. It was barely a whisper and his voice was thick with emotion.

"Me too." She placed her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. Two strangers seeking warmth and security from each other.

"Me too."

* * *

Joel had fallen asleep after Tommy had left. He was weak and tired and so sick of the torturous thoughts in his head. Sometimes in his sleep he found brief moments of relief. For a while at least, until the horrific nightmares found their way behind his eyelids. The nightmares he could just about deal with, it was the dreams of Sarah that ripped him apart. Dreaming of her playing football, dancing to some pop song in her room, playing video games and gossiping on the phone to her friends. Those dreams left him empty and numb.

He woke again at the sounds of people returning to their tents after dinner. Opening his eyes, he stared hard at the pointed white ceiling of the tent. Mercifully, he hadn't dreamt of anything much that time. Glancing over at Tommy's empty bed he felt a pang of regret. What was he doing right now? His brother could hardly deal with ordering pizza on his own, never mind the situation they were in now.

Their parents had died ten years ago. His mother through cancer and his father, the doctors said, from a broken heart. He had raised Tommy since he was sixteen so his brother had come to depend on him more than he probably should have.

And now he was pushing him away. Pushing him away to be alone in a cruel, dangerous world. Wasn't it worth surviving to take care of his pain in the ass little brother?

But the loss of Sarah. It was overwhelming. Indescribable. How was a parent supposed to cope with the death of their child?

He could feel the tears again, but bit his lip hard until the pain allowed him to push the emotion down deep inside. His arms and legs were heavy and when he tried to stand up from the bed he was overcome with dizziness. He knew it was through hunger. But how could he eat? How could he go to dinner with Tommy and a bunch of strangers and eat like nothing had happened?

Joel punched the bed. It creaked ominously.

"Lousy piece of shit." He muttered and swung his legs off the side.

He exhaled loudly. He would find Tommy and try make things right. He could do that. What was it his brother had said? Take one day at a time? Joel pushed himself to stand and took a minute until the world stopped shaking.

"Okay, Tommy. Let's try it your way for a while."

Joel walked out the tent and then realised he had no idea what way it was to the marquee where they served meals. He had hardly left the tent since they arrived. There weren't a lot of people standing about who he could ask either. Most had retired to their own living quarters or had set about doing their designated chores.

He decided to walk about for a while and get to know the compound while in search for his brother. He would eventually come across the food marquee – the place wasn't that big after all. Walking around and between tents reminded Joel of times when he was much younger. His friends and he would go to music festivals in summer. The atmosphere was much different of course. There was no one drinking and playing guitar outside their tents, no doughnut stands, no groups of drunken kids taking shots and smoking stuff they shouldn't be.

As he approached a large tent, Joel realised he had walked too far left, as he had reached the edge of the compound. He made to turn and head northwards, but serious voices inside caught his attention.

"I'm telling you this isn't going to last much longer."

"Another fifty people arrived yesterday! We don't have the resources to handle everyone. Food is low. Medicine is pretty much non-existent. If the people start a riot, we don't even have a lot of ammunition to keep it contained."

"There must be another way, goddammit!"

"Sir, I just don't see another way. I heard word that there have been gangs forming. They attack places like this, kill the civilians – those that aren't female at least - hang the soldiers and take the food and weapons. We're not prepared for an attack like that."

Joel crept closer to the opening of the tent, straining to hear every word the soldiers were saying.

"Jesus Christ. Two weeks and humanity goes to pot."

"Survival of the fittest."

"We're not animals, Lieutenant!"

"Yes, sir."

"I can't allow this. We'll find another way."

"There is no other way!"

"Speak like that again, son and I'll have you done for insubordination."

"Old man, don't you see?! There is no army! There's nothing! We're doomed! We had to kill Eddie last week cause that damned infected got over the gate. We slit his throat! I killed my best friend and for what? Fucking nothing?!"

"You listen to me…..!"

"Fuck this!"

Joel held his breath as suddenly a fight broke out inside the tent. There was loud struggle, cursing and yelling and then suddenly one of the men cried out.

"Oh shit, Carl. You've killed him! You've fucking killed him!"

"Shut up! Keep your cool! We'll say he was infected and we had no choice. I'm not taking orders from a guy soft in the head. That ain't gonna' fly no more. It's kill or be killed."

"Oh shit! Shit!"

"Shut your goddam mouth! Tidy this place up and I'll take care of the body. You stick to what I told you and it will be fine. You breathe a word of this and I'll chuck you over the gate and let the infected get you. You hear me?"

"Y…..yes."

Joel ducked back behind the tent as one of soldiers marched out.

"Holy shit." He muttered. He needed to get to Tommy now. Something was going down. And soon. Their safe haven wasn't so safe anymore.

Joel searched for Tommy around C-Camp for another half an hour, but returned back to their own tent as he could feel himself tiring. It was getting dark now and the wind and rain were picking up. People were starting to close the flaps of their tent and pull out extra blankets for the children and elderly. He sat on the bed heavily and wondered what the hell he was going to do about what he had overheard. He had effectively just heard someone be murdered. Joel shuddered at the thought. What the hell was going on with the world? He knew one thing – they couldn't stay here.

Like a punch in the gut, guilt overwhelmed him. Sarah. He hadn't thought about her for over an hour. The guilt didn't make any sense, but he was terrified if he stopped thinking about her he would forget her face, her voice, her laugh. He had been distracted and it scared him to the bone how easily she slipped from his mind. He had nothing of hers. Not one damn picture. He didn't have his phone with her text messages. Joel touched his watch absent-mindedly and then startled at the realisation that he had one thing. The watch. The last birthday present he received from his daughter. It ticked, seemingly unstoppable, in the face of such destruction. He rubbed the face with his thumb and smiled as he remembered how he had joked with his daughter that it didn't work.

"Baby girl, I miss you." He whispered into the darkness and fell back onto the bed, lost in thought and clutching desperately at the watch. "I miss you so much."

* * *

"Gin."

"What? No fair! Did you cheat?"

"You are such a sore loser."

Amelia stuck her tongue out and threw down her cards in disgust.

"I give up! I am officially rubbish at cards!"

"Well, you know if we were playing a certain card game, that wouldn't be a bad thing!"

"I know you have a point, Tommy, I am just not seeing it."

"Strip…"

Amelia covered his mouth with her hands.

Tommy pried them away laughing and began shuffling the cards.

"You are such a chancer."

"Can't blame a guy for trying!"

"We'd get arrested or something. I share a tent with three other people!"

"Just makes it more exciting!"

"You are awful."

Amelia and Tommy were sitting cross-legged on her bed whispering behind a divider used in tents shared with strangers. The girl looked at the time.

"It's past curfew. You should go in case the soldiers make rounds. They get pissed if people aren't in their own tents after dark."

"Aw, screw 'em."

Amelia shook her head and stood, pulling Tommy up too.

"You are trouble. Get to bed!"

"Goodnight kiss?" He smiled teasingly as the girl blushed.

"Bed!" She pushed him out her tent, but blew a kiss as he walked backwards away from her.

Tommy shook his head chuckling as he watched her disappear into her tent. Amelia was fun. And cute. She was like a ray of warm sunshine and he almost felt drunk with happiness walking away from her. It was nice to be distracted from hell for a time. He dodged round one of the soldier patrols which took him the long route back to his own tent, near the opening to the woods. As he strode back, using the moonlight to guide him, he heard a man pleading desperately. Tommy snuck closer to the woods. There was a group of people in there!

He hid behind trees and hedges, sneaking closer, until he was just behind them. There were seven people standing in a line, their hands bound behind their backs and five soldiers in front of them. When Tommy looked closer, he could see they were all older – no younger than sixty-five years of age.

"Please, we'll move on. We don't need to stay here. You don't need to do this!"

"You'll only use sources of another camp."

"I have a daughter who lost her husband. She needs me to help raise her three children." A woman sobbed.

"You'll only use the food that the children need. It has to be done. The world has changed. You can't help us in an attack against the infected or the gangs. You are too weak. We can't waste food on the old. We need it to build armies to protect the camps. You must see this."

"You bastards! You're not god! This is _madness_." Another yelled out.

"Shut that old man up."

Like a grim repear the soldier marched towards one of the old men in the line and pulled out his blade. It glistened in the moon and then he struck. There was no sound at first and then the old man coughed, his throat splitting in two, and warm red blood flowed down to his chest.

The rest of the group began to scream as the old man collapsed to his knees, and then fell forward face down to the leaf-litter, hands still bound behind him.

"Silence them! Now!"

Then the attack was on. The soldiers jumped from civilian to civilian, stabbing and cutting until the terrified noises of the group was silenced. Tommy watched in horror. His breaths were short and shallow. He clutched his t-shirt with one hand, his heart was beating fast and hard.

"What do we do now?" One of the soldiers asked, standing amongst the bodies, breathing heavily.

"We bury them and then tell the families there was an attack during the night."

"That won't hold up for long. If we keep removing the weak and the old, people are going to start asking questions."

"They won't be asking questions for long. One of the camps a couple of towns over was attacked earlier. We need all the food and weapons for us. We need to train those that are capable to defend."

Tommy had heard enough. He fell back on trembling arms. He had to get back to Joel. They needed to get the hell out of here. The soldiers were selecting people of little value and slaughtering them like livestock. This was insane. They had gone mad. All this time he had been terrified of the infected, when in fact it was his own species that were crazed. Humans scared and not understanding what was happening to their world, turning on each other and weeding out the weak.

He picked himself up and sprinted back to his tent, as fast as his legs could carry him.


End file.
